Helpless

How many times you find yourself in a situation where you just stood there and look up in the ceiling/sky and go 'God, help me?' In fact, I think most of the time. There is a reason why things happen and those setbacks and failures test out faith.

I wonder why some people are so ungrateful of things. We are not born to be servants but to do things out of goodwill. A simple 'Thank you' or "Please" will make the whole sitation so much approachable. I guess the worldly thinks of the hierachy system. "You are elder than me, hence you HAVE to do this for me" or "You are under me, hence you HAVE to do this for me" or "You are my good friend, hence I EXPECT this and that", etc. On the other hand, being responsible and getting your job done is different from if someone asks you for a favour, something which is not EXPECTED of you to do it. Such things bother me sometimes, but at the end of the day.... "God, help me..."

Random repeated questions bug me everyday. 'When are you getting a FT contract." "is this the right job for you" "Dont screw up today" "Wonder when am I going to get married" "When my parents will give a nod to Jesus is my saviour" "Is everything gonna be alright in my love life?" Like a broken record, playing constantly. At the end of the day... "God, help me..."

I was reading a book and this particular section drew my attention; Characteristics of a shame-based nature. I have identified myself as perfectionist and false/excessive responsibility. I tend to seek other's approval and Satan will try to use that to try to make you change yourself to suit others so much so that you are never true to yourself.... And thats kind of scary, cos I used to be like this! The other part about false/excessive resposibility is like making yourself resposible/answerable for everything that goes wrong. As if you are part of the failure, etc. 'Sometimes you can do everything right, and people still make wrong wchoices in their lives. We must stop taking the responsiblity for everything that goes on in the world, and begin to live our lives and enjoy them. Don't let someone else's bad choice affect your joy.' And at the end of the day... 'God, help me...'

No one understands my problems... No matter how hard I tried to explain. It will try to turn one big round and say 'sort it out yourself' There was one day, voice shaken, hiding under my duvet, talking to God all my problems. I felt so burdened and I cried myself to sleep. That was the best sleep I ever had. =D I mean, don't think I want to reach to that stage where I can get my decent sleep. Of course I learn my lesson that I should pray frevently.

So, does God really did help me?

Answer - Yes, He has the best plans for me and tells me "Do not worry"