Fresh start, new chapter.

I woke up not long ago from my 4 hours of nap. Felt really hungry at first. But then I realised not only am I hungry for food but also for more of God! I settled on a huge bowl of cereal(Cheerios) and milk which I think its enough and satisfying since for the past few days I had so much junky foods!

I had the greatest of my life. I feel charged and renewed and praise the Lord for the opportunity and his grace upon me. New blog to express and to log down events in my daily, if not weekly life.

Camp retreats is nothing new to me since I have been to 3 and this is my 4th. My faith for Him grew to a level where I started having so many unanswered questions regarding God that I got frustrated with myself and decided to go on my solo mission and shut Him out completely.

I felt safocated and empty. The things were too much for me to bare that I broke into tears and asked for forgiveness. And this cycle of defiance repeated for quite some time. Until today... ... ...

We had a guest speaker Mr Dick Dowsett and I learnt that he was staying in the same cabin as us and met him on the night of arrival at the campsite. I barely know him as a friend and hardly spoken to him too. At the end of his sermon, he came up to me and hugged me. "Break my heart for what break yours... - Hosanna, HillSong United" was playing in my head.

He patted me on the back and let go. A sudden rush of emotions overwhelmed me and I told him I wanted to cry. He embraced me in his arms and whispered in my ear, "cry it out my son..." It was sensational. My heart was broken, I felt weak and helpless. He held me by my shoulders and asked me what's bothering me. For someone whom I barely know, I revealed my darkest secrets to him.

He understood me totally and looked me in the eye and said "everything is going to be ok". My shame and pride were stripped right in front of this wise mans eyes and he called upon the holy spirit to help me put on an armour of God and be righteous with Him, with the blood of Jesus Christ, my sins are washed away and I am forgiven.

My take away for this retreat is to Trust in the Lord that he will help me to be prayerful in everything I do and not be afraid. Lastly, God is not done with me yet, this is just the beginning.